i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
