hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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