Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
