I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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