the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
