Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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