I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
