I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
