he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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