Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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