Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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