Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
