We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
