Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
