Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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