Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
