She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
