I haven't been this sober since birth.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
