Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
