he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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