Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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