Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
