when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
