someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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