Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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