he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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