Porn is love you can see.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
