His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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