naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
