He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
