Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You smell like stripper and shame
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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