apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize