we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
