then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
