I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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