R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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