how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
