Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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