The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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