i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
