You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
