He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
