What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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