I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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