he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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