just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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