and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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