Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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