make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
that may or may not have been my penis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
