So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Alive.
So much puke
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
