She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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