After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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