found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Say something about gay babies.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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