You just made me feel so damn special
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The air taste purple.
Randomize
