i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
