I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
