did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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