its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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